Christmas Morning

The colorful christmas lights are twinkling. The hazelnut coffee is brewing; what a glorious morning. It is our first christmas married and our first christmas with our baby girl. Too bad she is a congested stuffy little girl today, and also too young to know what makes today so special. We look forward to years and years of happy memories with her and the rest of our children - yet to come.

I can't help but reflect on how blessed and filled my life is. A wonderful spouse. A beautiful daughter. A home filled with everything and more. I never want for anything and if I did, my honey would do his best to give me what I ask for.

When I was little we'd be lucky if Santa visited our house. Truly we were blessed to have families from the community, or college students adopt our family and deliver bags filled with necessities at christmas time. Our church paid our rent and bought our clothes, shoes and food. I was called selfish when I asked for a shirt from Goodwill. As an adult I've told my mom how much it hurt me that she used to call me selfish when I asked for something... instead of including me and letting me know how hard it was to provide for the family, she just called me names and made me feel like a terrible person. My mom still insists it was selfish for me to ask for anything. I can't imagine what it must have felt like for her. So many kids, no money and a bastard husband who wasn't willing to work. She tried, she really did. One christmas she sewed all of us quilts. I have mine out this morning. It is still one of my favorite blankets.

I hope I can teach my children about the true meaning of christmas. I plan on "adopting" families at christmas time with my children and will teach them about giving to others less fortunate than us. I don't want them to be spoiled in the sense that they expect things or become rotten. Having things is fine, I just want them to be kind, loving, giving individuals.

Well off I go. Games are waiting for us to play and dinner needs attending to.